My Graves’ disease/hyperthyroidism is so exhausting. I am on a lower dose of medication than that I have been ever since starting treatment because my levels are apparently better, but I have a feeling they will be higher when I go back to the doctor in a month. I feel too strange/anxious to be even close to balanced. What the fuck is balance?
Do not, I repeat, do not medicate yourself to try and rest at night if you are going to spend less than four hours trying to “sleep” it off. It will result in you (temporarily) losing your phone, (temporarily) forgetting important scholastic assignments, and (more permanently) having a terrible complexion on top of everything else.
When you hear of someone’s death, do you ever try to piece together the fragments of what you remember about that person? A sort of mental scrapbook, perhaps? That’s what I have been doing ever since I learned of my aunt’s (my dad’s sister) death today. My mental collective consists of sugarless gum, an abundance of smoking, a ferocious chihuahua, and perhaps one of the funniest stories I have heard from someone being in the hospital for complications with diabetes. My aunt was a juvenile diabetic, therefore she struggled with it all of her life (she also had a great amount of mental problems that factored into a lot of her behavior as well). A few years ago she was admitted into the hospital when her blood sugar got out of control, and during this period she was having hallucinations. One of the hallucinations consisted of her seeing my mother, whom she actually hadn’t seen in years, breaking into her hospital room. During the break-in, my “mother” was rearranging things in her room and hanging pictures of Hall & Oates onto the hospital walls. I also think she attempted to kill her at one point during the hallucination, but I cannot be sure.
Apparently my aunt died on my birthday (March 25th), but we just found out about it. It took them this long to find my father and tell him, though nobody is sure of the cause of death at this point. Add this family death as another to happen on a “holiday”, because my grandmother (my dad and Nadine’s mother) died on Halloween in 2006. Not only that, but my grandfather (my mother’s dad) just died in February.